Roller Coaster Rides

It's been hard to write... heck it's been hard to think. I'm processing a ton of information every day and it's not easy. Being a NICU mom is NOT easy. There are good days and there are bad days... my emotions are constantly riding a deadly roller coaster these days. I'm trying to stay strong when all I really want to do is cry. I wish I could hide and not have to face the day or anyone. How much longer can I smile and say that things are ok when I'm dying inside? I knew the second that I gave birth that it wasn't going to be easy but I never thought that it would be this hard. I'm not only going through the NICU drama but I'm also experiencing the typical after birth feelings of empty nest. I feel completely robbed of everything. I never got to truly enjoy my pregnancy and there was so much more I wanted to do and experience that I never will now. Where is the joy of being able to give birth and hold your child in your arms? Does it even exist? What does it feel like to hold your child? I don't even know. It's not fair. It's not easy going on Facebook anymore and seeing all my friends giving birth to full term babies and seeing their pictures flash of them holding and cradling their children. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them but it's hard when you have three precious daughter who you can't even hold. Gosh I feel like an emotional idiot. The last couple of days I've woken up in such a horrible mood. I can't stand myself. I have so much support and yet I feel so alone. I'm sorry for such a "down" intro to my post tonight, like I said in the beginning - this is all so hard for me.

HADASSAH

Hadassah, my joy, crashed on us when she was only 2 days old. She gave us a scare when her left lung collapsed. I was still in the hospital and Tito was the only who was information on one of his many trips to the NICU to take the milk. I knew something was wrong when he didn't come back as quickly as usual. He didn't even get to explain everything to me before I started crying. I was so scared as he told me that they needed to put in a chest tube to help suction out the air build up in her left lung. She, however, did well with the suction. And after 10 days had the tube taken out. Her lungs are the worst of the three girls. She is still having some problems with her left lung and her right lung has air build up around it on the outside. They decided to try the conventional ventilator to help her lungs heal and progress. She was placed on this ventilator last night (11/29/13) and is doing very well on it. She also started steroids last night and will be on them for a total of three days. The steroids are used to help her lungs mature faster. We are praying and believing that they will work! She also had her UV lines taken out of her belly button on Thursday, November 28th, 2013. The UV line was a tube that goes into her belly button and is used to provided IV and food to the baby. These can only be used for 7-9 days after birth and then they have to get a PICC line. Hadassah had her PICC line put in on Sunday, November 24th. They started breast milk feeds on Monday. Hadassah was taking 1cc every 6 hours until Wednesday when they started to give her 1cc every 3 hours. I know that is a small amount but still I'm so happy that she is tolerating the milk in her tiny belly. Today, November 30, 2013, Hadassah had her g-tube changed to a bigger size now that she is eating! I'm so happy for her. You know there are good days and there are bad, there are good news and there are bad news. I try to focus on the good, like how she's feeding and now on a step down ventilator. It's what keeps me going. I go almost everyday to visit her and I've seen how much she's changing everyday. Her skin is toughening up and getting that 'normal' skin color look. Her little ears are starting to form firmly and her hair is growing. She's our little blonde baby. She is trying to open her eyes to the point of straining. Even the nurse tried to help her out but nope they are pretty sealed. She loves to lay on her side all cuddled up. She is on morphine so she tends to be more still then her sisters. Today, as I spoke to her she moved around and tried to open her eyes. Her stats went up to a perfect 100 the entire time I was talking to her. Maybe I should stay and just talk to her 24/7... lol ... Oh and she's been on and off of the Billy Lights due to jaundice. She's been off for two days now so I'm praying this is it for her. As of today Hadassah is on morphine (for the lungs but is being weaned off), dopamine for her blood pressure, antibiotics as a precaution to avoid infections, and steroids for the lungs. On Friday, November 22 she had a heart ultrasound that showed a small heart murmur. She was placed on a three day regimen to help close the murmur but unfortunately it did not close. She will have a second round soon so I ask that you pray and come into an agreement with us that the second round will work! On November 22, she also had a brain ultrasound that reveal no brain bleeds - SCORE!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!

Hadassah's Hospital Crib Card

Hadassah all cuddled up...

The first time I got to touch Hadassah. 

November 22, 2013

Hadassah's Thanksgiving Card to Us and You;)

ISABELLA aka BELLA

At 3 days old we had another scare this time with Isabella. During a routine ultrasound they found that her esophagus had a small tear in it. They had to take her G-tube out and her UV line as her belly button started rejecting the UV line. She was the first that needed the PICC line. They tried on Thursday, Friday and Saturday and they couldn't get the PICC line in. On Monday, November 25th, 2013, the Doctor informed me that Isabella might have to go to CHOP to have her PICC line put in and then after 24 hours she would return to Virtua. Therefore they had to put Isabella on the conventional ventilator which they did and she LOVED it. She is doing so so so much better on the step down ventilator and I'm so happy. We are one step closer to CPAP for all three girls now but I know that won't be for another few weeks as they are still so tiny. Anyway, on this same day Dr. Lenny called and said that before we take her to CHOP he would like to try one more time to put the PICC line in. He arrived at the hospital around 9pm and guess what... HE DID IT!!!! Praise the Lord. God only knows how much we were praying that this would work and that she wouldn't have to be separated from her sisters. Isabella also has a heart murmur. She has done two rounds of the medication to close the heart murmur and they did not work. She will be monitored closely as if the murmur starts to affect any of her organs she will have to have surgery to close the murmur. We are praying that the murmur close on its own, can you please pray for that? She also had a brain ultrasound and had no brain bleeds!!!! YAY!!!! Right now they are monitoring her esophagus, The tear should heal on it's on. This upcoming Monday, December 2, 2013 she will be checked and if the esophagus is healed they will put her g-tube back in and start breast milk feedings!!!! She is currently on dopamine for her blood pressure, antibiotics as a precaution for infections, and that's it for her. She had belly time yesterday and I must say it was so darn cute to see her laying on her belly. Today she was on her back and moving around. The nurse said that she looked like she was dancing in slow mode. I shared with the nurse about how I worship through dance and the nurse (a Christian) said, "Oh then I can only explain that her movements where like she was worshipping God!" How awesome is that? Oh by the way, Isabella has both of her eyes open! She beat her sisters!

Isabella's Hospital Crib Card

Isabella on tummy time & under the Billy Lights

November 29th, 2013

Isabella with her Billy Light glasses on. And an IV in her left arm :(

Isabella with her eyes open

November 27th, 2013

CIANNA

Oh Cianna... she was doing so well!!! We were so happy that everyday nothing changed and she was doing great. She rarely gave the nurses an issue and was always so stable. That is until Monday, November 25th! On Monday I spent the entire day at the hospital with the girls. I got there at 1pm and I left at 8pm. I got home around 9pm and didn't go to bed until almost midnight. At 12:30am I get a call from Virtua that I need to come in asap and "be by Cianna's side." Side note: When you hear those words you think what... death, right? So you can imagine that state I was in the entire 50 minute drive to the hospital at 1am. Anyway, the Doctor explained that during a routine examine she noticed that Cianna's belly was a little discolored like a black and blue and her super and blood pressure were really high. She explained that Cianna was going to have to go to CHOP to be treated for NEC. I get to the hospital and we waited for CHOP for 3 hours. We followed the ambulance to CHOP with our hearts at our feet. We waited and waited for them to stabilize her and around 5am we were allowed into the room. The doctors explained that within 24 hours they would have to go a drainage on Cianna's belly to empty her stomach of any fluid/poop build up that her intestines was pushing out into her abdomen. So we waited and waited. The nurse started Cianna's care and asked if I wanted to help her out. I got to take Cianna's temperature and change her pamper. She peed me so I'm officially baptized. It was awesome! We waited until 3pm and no changes had been made. They told us to go home and get some rest. We had both been awake for 40 hours before we left CHOP. I was cross eyed from the lack of sleep and not to mention my feet were ridiculously swollen by the time I got home. Early Wednesday morning (1am) they did the drainage on Cianna. I called around noon on Wednesday and she was doing well. Her sugar and blood pressure came down and as of today every time they drain her there is less and less poop/fluid in her drainage. God is Good! Her belly is also coming down from the bloat and back and blue color. So I'm very happy! They did the PICC line on her yesterday and she is also doing well from that. Cianna has her left eye opened and is still struggling to open her right eye. Dr. thinks it's only a matter of time before she pops that right eye open. Cianna is not being feed by her g-tube as they don't want anything in her belly. She is on special antibiotics for the NEC which last anywhere between 10-14 days. So she has only about 5-9 more days to go. She is on dopamine for her blood pressure and morphine due to her belly issues. But all in all she is doing better. Her heart murmur is also still open. They can't do a second round of medication for the heart murmur until she is off her antibiotics. Cianna also had a brain ultrasound and she did not have any brain bleeds! Praise the Lord!

Isabella's Hospital Crib Card from Virtua

Cianna - You can see her darkened belly here. This was right before CHOP came to pick her up. 

November 26th, 2013 (Virtua) (2am)

Cianna's ride to CHOP

November 26th, 2013

Cianna sucking on a pacifier! A few hours before her drainage procedure. 

November 26th, 2013 (Chop)

Cianna all cuddled up and sucking on her fingers.

November 30th, 2013 (Chop)

KANGAROO CARE

So now that the girls have their UV lines out of their belly button I can start Kangaroo Care. I'm so excited and so nervous to finally get to hold my girls. Their stats (blood pressure, heart rate etc) have to be stable and they have been. I'm going on Monday and I'm going prepared with everything I need. Which reminds me that I need to get out to the store and get some things like baby blankets (those fuzzy ones). OMG I'm so nervous, they are so tiny!

BREAST FEEDING / PUMPING

This is so intense! I can't seem to get a schedule down pack especially with all the running around from hospital to hospital! I'm trying to maintain an easy every 3-4 hours schedule but it's not working. I decided to not do anything extra throughout the day and to start sticking to my pumping schedule. I would like to be able to pump until they at least come home. I can't complain I'm getting at least 3 ounces every time I pump but other triplet moms are making double/triple that amount. I know that rest and proper nutrition play a huge role in being about to pump larger quantities. How do I do that? I'm not the biggest healthiest eater. I don't even know where to begin. The normal calorie intake for my height and weight should be 1800 calories a day, now I have to add an extra 1500 (500 per baby)... what in the world? I barely intake the 1800 calories. In order to intake this amount of food I'll have to eat every hour! So any of you who have or are breast feeding... please give me any advice you have. I want to be successful here. Also for those who use/used the Medela Symphony which settings did you use? I feel like I may not being using the pump right.

VISITATIONS & COMING HOME TIMELINE
I know many people want to see the girls. Unfortunately, although we are allowed to have visitors, we are restricting the visits to a select few who are helping me get to and from the hospital. The girls are very small and fragile. Visits will continue to be restricted until the girls are home and even then on a less restriction. Preemie are can catch a cold or infection more quickly then a full term baby so until the FLU session is over visits will remain restricted. I have already asked close family and friends that if they plan on visiting the girls at my home before the FLU session is over, they must have the flu shot. Those living in my home must have the FLU and DTAP shots. You can never be too careful. As for when the girls are coming home... I was told to plan on their original due date so hopefully by March 5th (my birthday and their due date). For the record, babies born at 25 weeks DO NOT go home with the parents and often spend 3-4 months in the NICU. As for visiting me... you are all more then welcomed to come by... I just ask that you let me know if and when you are planning to stop by as I'm constantly in and out of the home visiting the girls.

WHAT WE STILL NEED
I've gotten a lot of text messages and Facebook messages, as well as my mother, asking what I still need for the babies. I have updated the registries (Target and Babies R Us) with what we still need as we are using the registries ourselves as a list for when we go out shopping. Feel free to go onto the registry to see what we still need. Thank you to those who have been bringing me clothes, etc. for the girls. We appreciate it all so very much! I finally started going through all the clothes and sorting them by size. It's a lot of onesies and pants. I think the girls are set with those until at least 6months! LOL So thank you all so much!

Weekly Stats on the Girls
Hadassah: Birth Weight: 1.6 pounds ... One Week Old Weight: 1.46 pounds
Isabella: Birth Weight 1.36 pounds ... One Week Old Weight: 1.3 pounds
Cianna: Birth Weight: 1.4 pounds ... One Week Old Weight: 1.2 pounds

SIDE NOTE:
I just want to say that I'm getting all of your text, facebook messages etc. I sometimes start to reply but never finish as I'm so busy. I'm so so so sorry for my late reply or no reply's. Please don't take it personal. I have A LOT going on right now. But thank you! I love you all!

EXTRAS:

 The girls at 2 days old!

November 21st, 2013

The girls top to bottom: Cianna, Isabella & Hadassah

November 28th, 2013 (Thanksgiving Day)

9 Days Old

Well... that's about it for the last 11 days... We just ask that you continue to pray for the girls health and well being, but also for our strength during this time. 

Xoxo,

Jackie

When 2 Became 5

Hi Everyone! I know it's been a long 6 days without posting anything. So much has happened and I just never got around to formulating my thoughts enough to actually come and write. I just want to warn you that this post is not for the faint of heart. I'm not holding anything back - the good and the bad - it's all here. I do ask that you respect one request - DO NOT COPY, SAVE, DISTRIBUTE, or POST any of the pictures of our girls. That is what this blog is for. We will be starting an album on Facebook where the pictures can be accessed at any time but we just ask that you give us time. Here we go...

24 Weeks & 4 Days - Sunday, November 17th, 2013
I know that in my last post I wrote about this date. After posting I had some visitors and I wanted to make a quick shout out to them. My brother Johnathan and his wife Erica came by along with my mother, father, a friend Tracy and future Pastor's of Massai Millville - Tracy and Sherlon Soman. They brought me laughter and lots of yummy food. My brother and his wife had their house warming party yesterday and I unfortunately couldn't make it due to be in the hospital. They were kind enough to bring me food today... happy tummy = happy mommy which = happy babies! It was such a nice visit and love to see my room so full of people who love and care so much for me, Tito and the girls. The hardest part - watching them all depart from the room. I cried instantly. I absolutely hate being alone here. Being alone allows for to much time and room to think and right now my thinking always leads to "what if they come tonight?" "What if I have to give birth right now?" Oh it's so scary and heart breaking. I tried to put myself together before the evening nurses came to see me but I failed. Poor nurse didn't know what to do with herself when she walked in my room and caught me sobbing. She just sat on the bed and held my hand. "It's going to be ok," she repeated over and over again. After settling down she took all my vital signs and then put me on the baby monitor. Heartbeats were great! And I wasn't contracting anymore. And for the first time since I came on Thursday ( 4 days ago) I didn't have to go to sleep with the IV fluids. SCORE!!!! Oh and here is a picture of Tito and I last night, I forgot to post it...

Yes - we both fit together on my bed =) Best husband in the world! PS: no my hair is not done. I have no energy right now to even think about doing more then washing it and brushing it limbo

24 Weeks & 5 Days - Monday, November 18th, 2013
Today was a little crazy. Morning vitals and heartbeat checks were all normal. The girls always give the tech nurse a hard time finding their heart beats but mommy always know where they are. I feel like a nurse now, lol, just kidding... I felt super tired today even though I had a great night. It was like nothing took my tiredness away and I spent most of the morning sleeping. Around noon Sabrina and Jasmine came by to visit me. It was so nice to see both of them. They made me laugh, which is always a plus right now. As soon as they were leaving my cousins Veronica & Laura came over. It was nice having a constant flow of visitors today. Especially with my mental break down yesterday. Unfortunately, I couldn't socialize for long as I had an ultrasound appointment downstairs with Maternal Fetal Medicine.  The entire ride down to MFM I was chewing my nails. Thursday's appointment yielded that I was 2cm Dilated and I was scared to know if I have dilated more or not by today. The first part of the ultrasound went well. Heart beats were great and the girls looked so cute! Hadassah was head down and ready for her grand entrance - but I yelled at her and told her "not yet." Isabella and Cianna were both lying side ways across my belly. Isabella was in my mid stomach and Cianna was high up by my ribs. We got some nice profile pictures of Isabella and Cianna but not of Hadassah as she was way to low and in the birth canal for a profile picture today. Then they did the internal ultrasound and the tech didn't even have to say anything to me. I saw with my own eyes that my cervix was opened wider and Hadassah's head was certainly  pushing down on my cervix. I watched in horror as the tech measured that I was now dilated at 3cm. She gave me my pictures and left to get the Doctor as I sat there alone. I tried to focus on the ultrasound pictures. I prayed and I spoke with the girls but five minutes turned into almost an hour and I couldn't keep it together for an hour, not alone! Niagara Falls began to pour out my eyes. I was angry and frustrated and beyond scare. I just kept asking "why me?" How much more of this can I take? How much more disappointment can I handle? I felt like I'm about to break or have some kind of mental breakdown. I can't do this anymore... The Doctor came in and basically said that everything is just status quo and that they will check me again on Thursday. He said that if I continue to dilate at the rate of 1cm every 4 days then I may make it another 28 days which is 4 more weeks. That made me smile. It gave me hope. 4 more weeks would place me at 28 weeks pregnant and the girls would be so much more better off. I returned to my room quickly after that. I took a nap and woke up feeling a little pressure. Not to be gross but I just felt like I needed to go #2. But I was so afraid to go thinking that if I went I would pop Hadassah out or something. I also started having some contractions that weren't painful at all. I didn't think anything of it. My cousin Laura and friend Annette were with me in the evening when around 6pm Dr. Kelley from the NICU came to my room and spoke to me. She brought handy flash cards with pictures of babies born between 24-25 weeks. She provided me with a lot of information as to all the risks and concerns that a 24-25 weeker can have when born so early and all the delays and scare test and problems that they will/can face in the NICU. Dr. Kelley told me that the lungs are the biggest issue that Preemie babies encounter as well as brain bleeds. There are 4 levels of brain bleeds and each bring on a set of difficulties for the babies. Basically she scared me half to death before saying that now a days with so much technology a 24 weeker can survive. When she left the room I felt so overwhelmed. Annette, the ever faithful God fearing friend I have looked at me and said, "You won't have to worry about all that." My mother and aunt Laura came to visit me just as Annette was leaving. We joked for most of the evening about how I still felt like I needed to use the bathroom and how I was too afraid because I didn't want to pop any babies out. Dr. Minter came in and saw me around 8pm. She reassured me that I shouldn't be concerned about todays ultrasound and that in just three more days I would have another ultrasound. She seemed to confident that I still had a few more weeks left and so did I! I went to sleep that night confident that I still had time. For the first time in 5 days, I didn't cry myself to sleep.

 Here is Cianna's Profile from today's ultrasound - 24w5d

Here is Isabella's profile from today at 24w5d

24 Weeks & 6 Days - Tuesday, November 19th, 2013 - THE BIRTH OF OUR GIRLS
Oh my heaven! I had the worst night of my life. I woke up at least every hour on the hour with weird contractions. I felt a lot of pressure and I would go to the bathroom and try to go but couldn't. When I got up from the toilet I felt like I couldn't straight from all the pressure. Being the inexperienced woman that I am, I thought the pressure during my contractions was backed up stuff, if you know what I mean. When I finally woke up around 7am I was finally able to "release" myself from the pressure. But then I still kept getting contractions about once to twice an hour and there was the pressure again. When the nurse came in for my vitals I told her what I was experiencing and she said she wasn't concerned but would relate the information to my OBGYN on call today. Then she put the heart monitor one and everything seemed fine. The girls gave the nurse a little hard time but nothing major. The babies heart beats need to be on the monitor for 20 minutes but that never happens with three tiny wiggling babies in my belly. So a 20 minute check turns into about an hour. So anyway, I felt very very very tired throughout the morning. I took a mid morning nap, got up and then ordered lunch. I order soup and a dinner roll. But I couldn't eat anything. I just felt so tired. So I fell asleep and woke up at 2pm with the strongest and most painful contraction yet! I went to the bathroom and checked to make sure I wasn't bleeding or anything. As I was coming out of the bathroom my OBGYN Dr. Huggins came into the room and saw the panic on my face as another contraction hit me. She helped me get into bed and called the nurse right away. She wanted me connected to the contraction monitor and baby heartbeat monitor asap! From 2-4pm I was connected to the machines. For the most part I was alone in my room as Dr. Huggins and the nurse watched my screens at the nurses hub. I felt the contractions get worse and with fewer time in-between. Around 3pm the nurse came and connected me to the IV machine. They poured 500ml of Fluids into me in about 30 minutes (that's super fast). From 3 to 4 pm I felt contractions that I never thought I would be feeling. I cried through them, I screamed through them, I literally climbed up my bed in so much pain. In between contractions I looked up how to breath during a contraction and I tried but seriously that crap didn't work. I think I said, "Oh my God," 1000 times. And I prayed that a nurse or Dr. wouldn't come in and catch me completely looking like a crazy lady as I tried to ride the contractions... alone. Every time I heard my door open I would put myself together. The nurse would ask how's the pain level on 1-10. I wanted to yell 1000 but I would always say "oh about a 3" with a smile on my face... LOL ... crazy lady here I say! Well at 4:30pm on the dot Dr. Huggins comes in and says, "I don't want to do it but you're contracting every 3-4 minutes and I have to check your cervix to make sure you aren't dilating." There is no secret that cervical checks are uncomfortable but I knew she knew what was best and I willingly became a participant of the check. When I saw her face as she checked me I just knew it wasn't going to be good news. When she finished her check she calming looked me in the eyes and said, "you're 6 cm dilated and Hadassah's head is right there. Call your husband, we are delivering these babies today." As the phone rang I heard Dr. Huggins shouting in the halls to "get the OR ready now! The triplets are coming! I need magnesium now! and a Crew!" By the time Tito answered his phone I was sobbing, "Tito get here as soon as you can they are taking the babies out today." But I'm here thinking that they wouldn't do for another hour or so to give him time to come. I hang up and call my mom, "MOM the babies need to come out now." I then hung up. By the time I finished the call there were at least 10 people in my room. "It's gonna get crazy and loud and it's going to get really busy, just breathe," Dr. Huggins said. Breathe?!?!?! I think I forgot how to do that. I was sobbing and I couldn't focus on anything.  There were nurses putting magnesium into my IV line, nurses taking off my clothes, nurses trying to put a catheter in, Dr. Huggins holding my hand as I rode the contractions in between, the anesthesiologist shouting questions and throwing papers at me to sign. I remember him asking how old I was and I was so lost in time that I said, "I think I'm 25!' He asked me for my weight and I yelled, "I don't know anymore." Before I knew it I was being transported to the OR. The magnesium was burning the heck out of my hand. I wanted to pull the dang thing out so bad that my nurse had to hold my arm down. When we entered the OR room I saw three bassinets that looked like something from the future with at least 4-5 people around each one. Dr. Huggins asked if my husband was here and I said no. That's when I heard, "we can't wait for anyone, these babies need to come out NOW!" So my tech nurse from High Risk OB - Samantha asked if I would like her to stay with me since I had no family here. I said yes and she stayed with me. They rolled me over unto the OR bed. They made me roll into a fetal position and Dr. Huggins took my hands in one hand and then with her other she pushed my hair back and leaned in very close to me. "Breathe, it's all going to be ok. You are doing great. Think about the precious baby girls and breathe. You're doing great." They put another IV in my other arm. At exactly 4:58pm they put in the back epidural and something else, I can't remember. It all happened so fast. They rolled me over unto my back, pulled up a blue curtain above my chest and I felt some pressure. I kept looking around the room. Sam was still by my side and even took a picture of me and her. At 5:05pm Hadassah was born CRYING!!! I could hear her so clearly!!!! At 5:06pm Isabella was born. She was not crying. I heard the Dr. Kim and Dr. Huggins talking about how wrapped in her umbilical cord she was. Then at 5:07pm Cianna was born CRYING!!!! Sam went to see the babies and came back to tell me that they are doing well and are so beautiful. I felt so sick to my stomach but they gave me medicine to stop me from throwing up. As they stitched me up I was telling them how on this very day 15 years ago I met Tito and how now the date just became even more special with the birth of our daughters. I felt invincible at this point but maybe it was just the morphine. The girls were taken out of the room fairly quickly. I got a peek at Hadassah and Cianna but Isabella was critical so they couldn't stop for me to see her. And honestly the little I saw of Hadassah and Cianna I can't even remember. Samantha left to go and find Tito. Dr. Huggins was telling me how great I did and how good the babies were doing so far. And before I knew it I was being wheeled into recovery where Tito stood dumb founded. "Congratulations you're a dad!" I said as I got into the room. Poor guy had so many questions.  I told him the whole story from beginning to end in between sobs and eating ice cubes. Instead of sleeping/resting I called my entire family, heck I even face-timed everyone in the waiting room. At 7:45pm I was in my Mommy & Baby Room, minus the babies. I was set up with everything I needed and then the gang was allowed in to visit with me. Visiting hours ended at 8pm but my nurses were so nice to let them come in and they stayed until almost 9:30pm. It was nice seeing everyone! At 11pm Dr. Kim from the NICU, also one of the doctors who helped deliver the babies, came to see Tito and I. Dr. Kim said that we could go and see the babies now. She told us that they were doing well. I was a little sore so Tito went on his own. Such a brave man! I waited impatiently for him to come back! When he walked through the door I could tell that he had been crying. His first words were, "They are doing good." I asked him why he looked so sad and he started crying as he said, "They are so small Jackie, so small, my babies." He broke my heart. But he took some pretty good first pictures of the girls. Here some shots from before Delivery to when Tito went to see the girls.

My last belly shot at around 12pm. It's crooked from Isabella rolling up into a ball on my left side.

 Samantha and I after the delivery. 

 Hadassah - 6 hours old 

1 pound 6 ounces

12 Inches long

Isabella - 6 hours old 

1 pound 3.6 ounces

12 inches long

Cianna - 6 hours old 

1 pound 4 ounces

11 1/4 inches long

All three girls were put on dopamine to control their blood pressure. All three girls are also on antibiotics. Hadassah and Isabella are on the HFOV (High Frequency Oscillator Ventilator) which makes them shake and provides a lot of little breathes for the girls. Cianna did not like the HFOV and gave Dr. Kim a very hard time so she is on a ventilator that is a step lower then the HFOV which is a GREAT thing. Cianna's ventilator is called  a Conventional Ventilator and it does not make her shake like the HFOV. 

So around 11:45pm my nurse came in and brought me a a Medela Symphony breast pump and all the supplies. She set me up to pump for the first time. Drops.. maybe 3-4 is all I got but the NICU wants it all. And I'll do anything for my baby girls so over the next few days we shall see how the breast pumping goes. I pray that I can produce milk and be able to provide such great nutrients to my baby girls. Wish me luck... I hear pumping hurts like a mother. lol 

So now I'm going to bed and so is Tito. I'm drained both physically and emotionally. We can not wait for morning to go down together to visit with the girls. 

I'm a mom!!!!!!!!! To three beautiful little fighters!!! I'm a mom!!!!!!!!

I'M A MOM. TITO IS A DAD... WE ARE OFFICIALLY PARENTS!!!

xoxo,

Jackie - mommy to 3 ;)

24 Weeks & 4 Days

I don't even know where to start. The past 11 days have been amazing, wonderful, filled with blessings, scary, nerve wrecking, heart wrenching and so much more! It's gonna be a long post, but there is so much to share...

November 7th, 2013 - 23 weeks & 1 Day - Surprise
Tonight my husband and I had the biggest surprise of this entire pregnancy (besides finding out it was triplets). Around 7pm three of my mother's co-workers came by the house with the excuse that they were coming to visit me as I had been feeling under the weather. What I didn't know was that they were coming by to deliver the three cribs for the babies!!!!! All three cribs were purchased by 23 of my mother's co-workers. Words can not describe how happy and grateful my husband and I feel towards each and everyone of these amazing women who felt it in their hearts to bless us with our cribs. I was so shocked that I couldn't even talk! God is good all the time and I pray that he blesses every single one of these ladies... abundantly!!!!!

November 9th, 2013 - 23 weeks & 3 days - Baby Shower
Was an amazing day! Today was our baby shower where we celebrated with family and friends. We had 106 family, friends and co-workers come out on our special day. My husband and I as well as the triplets were so blessed with so many things! We got all three mattresses, 3 high chairs, pampers, wipes, sleepers, outfits, socks, bibs, wash clothes, the diaper pail, bottles and so much more! My friends were so creative in their way of presenting their gifts as well... Everyone knows how much I love owls! The nursery for the babies is owls and so I got some pretty awesome owls made of diapers, bibs, and pacifiers. I even had 3 peas in a pod made of diapers, pacifiers, and receiving blankets. I mean people came up with such creative gifts. We are all so very thankful and grateful for everything we got. I must admit that about 1/4 of the way through the gifts my back and arms gave out. I was extremely tired and sore and therefore my husband had to take over in opening the gifts. It was funny watching him open the gifts and not know exactly what they were for... like the diaper pail LOL... Here are a few shots from the shower...

Here are five of my mother's co-workers who went in on the cribs. They have all been such a great support to myself and my mother during my IVF and pregnancy. We are truly blessed by these women.

Here we are with our 3 Mattresses one from each of our aunts - Carmen, Laura & Wally! Thank you so much!!!!

Here's Tito with his favorite bottles ... LOL ... Seriously the man fought me the day we went to do the registry... it had to be these or nothing... So babies you better like these bottles LOL - Thank you Vero, Vika and Chris for the bottles!

How cute are these? Here are 3 of 4 owl creations we received. They are so cute we haven't taken them apart yet! Thank you Chipo, Kristina, Krystal and Mimi! 

Hadassah, Isabella and Cianna's first church outfits!  Thank you Tio George and Titi Irene!

Out little peas in the pod thanks to Krystal, Kristina & Mimi. Sad story - my husband jam packed my car after the shower so they didn't make it. By the time we got home you couldn't tell what they were but at least I got some nice pictures of them LOL 

How cute are these hats? These were made by Ashley - she did a fantastic job with them. I can't wait to use them on the girls. 

The "CAKE." It's a strawberry filled, vanilla cake with buttercream frosting and pure white jimmy's. The message says "A gift from above, three baby girls to love." Sweets Eats Bakery did a fantastic job making this cake and Becky did a fantastic job cutting it LOL... I don't know how to cute round cakes... Anyway, So my mother and I were so busy with the gift opening that we never got to eat cake on the day of the shower. We finally had cake 3 days later LOL But the wait was worth it as the cake was very very yummy...

Here are the favors that I made for the shower. These are mason jars filled with Chocolate Chip cookie recipe and then I decorated the outside to look like owls. It took about a month to make 60 of them as I made about 1-5 a day LOL 

Following the shower we went home and I sat in the nursery and went through every single gift bag. I got to finally look at everything in detail and of course write up my thank you list. I also made a list of everything that we still needed with the help of my mother and then I crashed! It must have been midnight by the time I finally went to bed, but all in all we had a wonderful time and we thank every single person who came out and celebrated the future coming of our three girls. Your love and support and generosity has not and will not go unnoticed. We love you all so so so so so very much!

November 11th, 2013 - 23 weeks and 5 days - Obgyn Visit & Shopping Day
I spent the entire day with my wonderful mother. Our day started out with a check up at the obgyn. Heartbeats were great and the Doctor seemed happy with my progress to date. She measured my stomach... I'm 23 weeks but I measured 29 weeks O_o and then we were on our way to shop for the babies. We went to Burlington Coat Factory, Walmart, Target, Babies R Us and Boscovs. With a list in hand of the items we still needed my mother and I headed out and braved the stores. We got the changing pad and covers, health and grooming kits, wipes, diapers, and so much more and the best part of it all... it was all covered by gift cards that we had received from the baby showers. So thank you to everyone who gave us gift cards. They truly came in handy!

November 13th, 2013 - 24 Weeks - Work
Today was supposed to be my second to last day at work. I was super stressed out and overwhelmed trying to get my cases in order before heading out on maternity leave. Around noon I started having what I thought were Braxton Hicks. I drank 5 bottles of water in 20 minutes and nothing stopped them. I went home and laid down and eventually they calmed down.

November 14th, 2013 - 24 Weeks & 1 Day - The Day It All Changed
Today I headed to Maternal Fetal Medicine with my mother bright an early for a growth check on the babies. The ultrasound started out great! The babies are thriving and growing at the rate a singleton would be growing. Hadassah weighed 1.6 pounds; Isabella was 1.5 pounds and Cianna was 1.4 pounds. They were kicking away and waving and looked so beautiful on the screen. Then came the internal ultrasound to check to my cervix opening & length. Up until today my cervix has been closed and long at about 4 inches long. But during the ultrasound the tech seemed worried and wouldn't even talk to me about the cervix, he just kept saying "I'll have the doctor explain." Panic hit me as my mother and I waited in the consultation room for the Doctor who took an hour to come and see us. He first reported that the babies are doing great! Their fluid was perfect, their weight on target and growth perfect. Then he says, " My concern is your cervix. You are 2 centimeters dilated." He went on to say that I needed to be admitted into the hospital today and that I would need a series of steroids for the babies, medications to stop my contractions and dilated, and that I would be admitted until the babies are delivered which could happen as early as this weekend and as late as a few weeks from now. I started crying, I couldn't help it. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I knew that the Doctors knew what they were doing but I just couldn't wrap my head around the possibility of giving birth to these girls this weekend. I knew it was too early and their survival rate would be minimal. I didn't want to lose the babies not after all we have been through to get here. So the Doctor sent my mother and I to go and have lunch and to come back at 1pm for the Echo scans on babies. I walked out of the office and I felt like I couldn't talk or move or eat. I called my husband, sobbing and trying to explain as best as I could what was happening. My mother called my father and aunts, brothers and sisters and before we knew it, it was time to go back to the doctors. We had the echo's done and everything was perfect with the babies hearts! I was so relieved. But then reality hit again and before I knew it I was being transported to the High Rick OD 3rd floor room #359 where I would stay for the long haul. My mother, father, Elvis, Aunts and husband all came to see me. But eventually they all had to leave. I cried myself to sleep. I knew this is the place I needed to be but I felt so alone. I missed my husband to the 1 billionth degree! I couldn't take it. And it was such a rough night. I had to get my IV put in as I was contracting. Then I got my first round of the steroid shot ( in the back side, which hurt like a mother). And the nurses were checking in on my every 20 minutes until about 3am.

November 15th, 2013 - 24 Weeks & 2 Days
Every hour that went by I said a thankful prayer to God for not allowing the babies to come yet. Every minute, every hour is an accomplishment and a second closer to delivering the babies later then expected. My contractions settled down and I was set to rest, rest, rest. I was told to only get up for the bathroom and that is it! I set up a Skype account and was able to Skype with my brother in Florida three times! It was such a blessing as I didn't have any visitors today. And then around 9:45pm my Prince (husband) showed up to spend the weekend with me in the hospital. He rocks my world.. just saying...

November 16th, 2013 - 24 Weeks & 3 Days
Another day down! Yay! I'm feeling better. I'm resting and the contractions are fewer in between. I'm getting my contractions, blood pressure and baby heart beats checked twice a day. The contraction monitor is easy and so is the blood pressure but the babies heart beats - not so much. They are tiny and have lots of room to move around in my tummy, therefore the give the nurses a run for their money every time they come to put those monitors on. Baby A - Hadassah is very low under my belly button but she is pretty compliant when we need to find her heart beat. Baby B - Isabella does not like to be found nor strained down by the pressure of the monitor therefore she spends all her time kicking the heck out of the monitor. Baby C - Cianna is always a pleasure to find and never gives us a hard time. But the end result is amazing as I sit and hear their strong and steady heartbeats. I got to skype with my brother again and my mother in law in California today. Skype is such a blessing! I had lots of visitors today. Becky, Ozzie, Jocie, Jasmine, my mom and dad all came by to visit me. My father brought my Cinderella Cheesecake - I was in total heaven! I'll always be his little girl. Tito and I spent most of the day resting, watching movies and tv shows. He brought the movie "The Heat" and I laughed so much! I must say that the food here is really great and I can order as many times as I want. In fact I was encouraged to order at least 6 meals a day because of the amount of calories I need to take in for me and the babies. I can barely eat 3 but I'm trying! I'm starting to settle into a routine here. I have my phone and laptop and my husband to entertain me. The nurses and techs are amazing and so sweet. I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed as this is all new to me but I'm getting somewhere. This is the best place for me and the babies - that's my comfort.

November 17th, 2013 - 24 weeks & 4 Days 
Well it's Sunday so you know what that means... Tito has to go home and get ready for church and then worker tomorrow. I spent the entire morning talking with him and going over what stuff we still need for the babies. We decided to keep our registry's open with the rest of the stuff that we need. It's more like a shopping reminder list for us at this point. We prayed together and rested. And around 2pm he left. And the second the door closed behind him the water works started. This is by far the hardest part. I miss him every second that he isn't here with me. But we have Skype and he calls about every 30 minutes to check in on me. On the bright side, the Doctor came in today and seems so happy with my progress. She told me that tomorrow I'll be going in for another ultrasound and cervix check. She and I are praying for the best and that the cervix be closed or not any more dilated. She did tell me that she has had patients at 2cm dilated for months. She seems very optimistic that theses babies are going to make it to longer in my womb. She doesn't have a short term goal but did tell me that anytime after 28 weeks would be idle and beneficial for the girls. No matter when they are born they will need NICU time. So I'm schedule to meet with the NICU doctor sometime this evening. I'm also waiting for the arrival of my mother, father, brother, Erica, Tracy and Sherlon who are all currently on their way to visit me today.

To Everyone:
I just want to thank everyone for your prayers and support. It means everything to us. We can use all the prayers we can get. Thank you for all the Facebook messages, the text messages, the Skype calls and general reaching out that you have all done.

23 Weeks - What A Rough Week!

Made it to 23 weeks!!!! Only one more week to reach viability... Hurray!!!

The past week really has not been been easy for me at all! I had my ultrasound appointment on Friday, November 1st. It should have been less then an hour but of course the girls were no cooperating and therefore the ultrasound lasted 2 hours and they still were unable to get all the measurements that they wanted to get. However, the Doctors weren't concerned and did say that the babies look and are doing great growth wise. Yay!!!! After my appointment I was starting to feel a little sick like maybe a cold was coming so I tried to drink up my vitamin C and lots of water. That night I ate Pizza for dinner and went straight to bed without digesting the food so needless to say I was so sick to my stomach that I didn't sleep a minute on Friday night. On Saturday my husband I headed out early to Voorhees so that we could order our cake for the Baby Shower. We get there, order the cake and then realize that we don't have the owl pictures for the cake. We go to Target down the street, I turned my purse inside out searching for my USB only to remember that I left it at home connected to the computer - an hour away from where we were. Frustrated and cranky from having no sleep the night before I tell my husband to forget about it and that I would come during the week to bring the picture. At this point it is 11am and we are on our way home. I'm now frustrated, disappointed, cranky and starving. I huffed and puffed, I moaned, I twisted and turned in my seat. Tito was annoyed and I started crying as it suddenly hit me that I don't function with no sleep and once the triplets are home I'm pretty sure I'm going to have many sleepless nights - that thought started the water works! On Sunday I woke up feeling like a truck ran me over. The cough and stuffiness were horrible and I couldn't take anything for it. I stayed in bed until about 3pm. I was getting ready to go have dinner with my parents when I started feeling my stomach tighten and then loosen. I got scared when I realized that it was happening very often (about every 3-5 minutes). I called the Doctors emergency line and within 3 minutes my OBGYN was calling me back. She told me to drink 3 glasses of water and to lay on my left side immediately. I did what she said and I felt better instantly. I was still having some Braxton Hicks here and there but nothing major. On Monday, I went to training for work and started having the Braxton Hicks every 1-2 minutes. I called again and was told to go straight to the hospital. I was scared, nervous, angry, annoyed but I managed to get to the hospital with Tito. From the second I walked into the hospital I was treated so well! They took me quickly, ran some blood work, strapped to the contraction machine, checked all the babies heart beats and connect me to the IV. My contractions were exactly 2 minutes a part - with no pain. The first bag of IV was on fast flow and within 45 minutes was completely into my system. By the end of the 2nd bag my contractions were about 20 minutes apart. The Doctor came in and said that my body was in distress (overworked) and that I was extremely dehydrated. I was discharged on the condition that I would leave and drink a 12 ounce bottle of water every hour on the dot for the following 72 hours. I was so so so so happy to not get admitted and so happy to know that I was getting better. I went straight home and stayed in bed the rest of the night. I'm finally feeling better. But it's time to let things go. My body is telling me to relax and rest and that's exactly what I'm doing to do. I know many people won't understand but I have to do what I have to do. I'm not carrying one baby here... I'm carrying 3! I've been having these anxiety feelings in my chest every now and then and I was told that this was due to my body being in distress and working for three babies....So it's been a crazy week, my cold didn't help at all with the dehydration. I had many sleepless nights. Someone people really tested my patience with their craziness and ridiculousness. I was cranky, annoyed and felt like hitting everyone in the face with a chair... but then I told myself that it's just all the hormones, its the pregnancy, this really isn't you Jackie... LOL I found myself talking my emotions down at least 1 to 2 times a day.... Don't mind me... LOL ... Heres to a better week...

Baby Shower
Man o Man.... I have been very busy this past week with preparations for the baby shower this upcoming Saturday. My house looks like Party City threw up in here. There are centerpieces, favors, glue guns, glue sticks, feathers, table clothes, cups, plates etc. On Tuesday (the Holiday) my mother and I went out and finalized the cake order. We also ordered the subs. I know you must be thinking why I'm so involved in planning my own shower.... I have really bad OCD and I'm not the type of person that can sit around waiting and counting on other people to do something for me, therefore I did it myself. It doesn't help that since I'm excepting triplets it would be kind of hard to surprise me with a shower when no one knows when I'll be on house arrest, I mean bed rest. LOL... All in all, its all coming together and I'm so excited to spend this Saturday with my friends and family and all those who were our cheerleaders throughout the many years of trying to conceive. PS: I'm also so so so so so so so excited and happy that my husband will have a few of his cousins at the shower. I'm just to happy that he will have family of his own there. I'm sure he's just as excited.

Statistics:
Week 22 - 162 lbs
Week 23 - 167 (I gained 5 pounds this past week!)
Cravings - Vanilla soft serve ice cream on a cone ;)
Baby Movement - Oh I feel them all the time! The twins are in the upper part of my belly and Hadassah is laying right under my belly button.
Frustrations - At night when I need to turn over or get up to go to the bathroom my muscles are sore and cause lots of pain. Not to mention those darn charlie horses.

Here is my belly shot for this week:

I know... It's not "winter" yet but these are one the only comfy

pants that fit me still. LOL 

Here is Hadassah's Profile <3

Here is Isabella's profile <3

Cianna would not cooperate, but here's her beautiful Spinal Cord.

And here is my baby Rocky who loves my maternity pillow. 

Well that's it for now.

Xoxo,

Jackie