So Many Changes

Hi everyone!!! I pray that you are all doing well... Tito, the girls and myself are all doing well. Praise the Lord! It seems as every day that goes by I get stronger and stronger and more at peace with all that is constantly going on. It's not easy, it never will be, but with Christ all things are possible! I want to clear something up about my last post. I never indicated that I had lost my faith or hope in Christ nor did I indicate that I wasn't strong for my girls or my husband. Everyday I ride a roller coaster that many of you reading this have never faced yourself so I know that it's hard for you all to understand exactly what I'm feeling. This blog is used for me to vent, and let out all the emotions that I face. The past week has been crazy with one or more of the girls going through surgeries or procedures. I've held up pretty well considering all that has happened. I think I cried more about not being able to see the girls everyday then what they were actually facing... see I'm getting stronger ;) Even the nurses and doctors say how amazed they are with how well I'm taking everything. One of the respiratory doctors always makes it a point to come by and see me. He loves my smile. Aww he's so sweet. But all in all I think we've had a pretty good week. It's crazy how much children change our lives. Everything I do, think, etc revolves around the babies and their well being. I never thought I could love so much until I had these girls. I can't believe they're mine, all three of them... its surreal! 

What We Need

I get lots of messages asking if we need anything. Tito and I are usually the ones helping others so it's hard to respond with what we may need at times as we don't want to be a burden to anyone. There are some things that we could use especially for the NICU Days. Now that the girls are separated between two hospitals and I'm not working we could use the following things:

1. Receiving blankets - for the girls isolette (incubator); bright colors are best
2. Tiny hats - new or home made (knitted)
3. Preemie sleepers - the one with snaps, not zippers
4. Tissues
5. Chapsticks - its so dry in the Nicu
6. To go snacks / hot chocolate packets
7. Hand Sanitizers
8. Baby toys / Stuff Animals
9. Holiday small decor for their rooms
10. Wawa Gift Cards - to help with gas or meals (I go up almost every day to at least one of the hospitals and it's taking a toll on us)
11. Food gift cards - being 45min to 1 hour away from hard makes it so hard on us to eat!

Hadassah

A lot has happened with Hadassah over the past week. On Sunday, December 1st, 2013 she had to get a new tube put into her right lung due to her right lung filling up with air. They also started her on steroids to help give her lungs a push. Out of all the girls Hadassah is the only one with lung issues. But we are praying and believing in a miracle that her lungs will progress and be healthy! Over the week she went from 1cc every 6 hours to 1 cc every 3 hours and as of December 4th, 2013 she has been on 2cc every 3 hours!!!! YAY for my baby! On December 6th she started antibiotics because she stopped peeing which can mean there is an infection. I was there with her for a few hours when she started peeing again - Praise the Lord! They had to stop her milk feeds for a few hours but she's back on them now. She is growing like a weed and looks so darn cute! She finally opened her eyes on Monday, December 2nd, 2013 and I was there recording it all! I cant wait to share with you all! Hadassah also has a heart murmur that will have to be closed in the future unless it closes on its own - which could happen. We are praying that this is the case as I don't want to see her go under surgery after all her lung issues. Can you pray for that?

 Hadassah - December 2nd, 2013

Her and I holding hands while she gets a pamper change.

Hadassah - December 2nd, 2013

Keeping her calm while she gets her care done. 

 Hadassah - December 5th, 2013

The dark spot on her right side is where her lung tube is. 

Isabella

Monday, December 2, 2013 Isabella's esophagus was checked and turns out it healed! So she got a feeding tube put back in but this time through her nose. These feeding tubes through the nose are a lot better then the mouth tubes as they last at least 30 days! She also started 1cc of breast milk today and will continue these feeds every 6 hours. So go Isabella!!!! She is doing well on her conventional ventilator and is completely off of the dopamine (blood pressure medication). Her little arms were a little concerning as she's had a lot of blood transfusions so her arms had lots of little needle marks and the skin was so dry. They started an oil on Saturday, November 30th and by Monday she was looking a lot better. As of yesterday, December 5th, 2013 she looked 100 times better! Only having a few marks still healing. Saturday the 30th was also the first time Isabella was placed on her belly to sleep. She seems to LOVE this. Almost every time I've gone in to see her this past week she's been on her belly. She looks so darn cute!!!! Isabella does have a heart murmur that will need to be closed by a PDA ligation surgery, but right now she is ok and they want her to grow some more before attempting the surgery. I'm so grateful for this as I just can't handle all my girls having the surgery around the same time. As of Friday December 6th, 2013 Isabella continues to do well. She is always wide awake and looking all over the place. I was there yesterday during her care and she pooped for the first time. That might sound minimum to someone else but thats a big deal in the NICU especially with Isabella's size. So you go Isabella! God I love her so very much!

Isabella - December 2nd, 2013

Isabella with her eyes open. 

Isabella - December 3rd, 2013

Isabella saying hello to everyone!

Isabella - December 5th, 2013

Belly time and sucking her thumb! 

Cianna

So we all know that Ciana had her drainage procedure. She is doing great from that! The drainage is not draining any measurable amount of fluid/stool in the belly. So the drainage should be coming out soon! As of yesterday, December 5th, 2013 the Drs predicted that within a day or two the drainage could come out. She continues to be on the antibiotics and is doing well. She is still on morphine to help with the pain of the procedure and basically to leave her sedated and not moving so she doesn't hurt herself. It's so sad but very much needed and I understand that. On December 5th, 2013 at 9:30am Cianna had to have a PDA ligation surgery. It took 20 minutes and was performed at her bedside. This surgery is used to go into the heart and close her heart murmur. At 10am I got a call informing me that she did great and was stable. I was warned that she would probably need a blood transfusion and dopamine to steady her blood pressure. When I got to CHOP at 3pm she hadn't needed neither of the two and I was so freaking happy about that! Her settings on her ventilator were high but that is common as preemies tend to be worse before they do better after a PDA surgery. But my Cianna looked great! Below you'll see some photos of her. The hardest part about Cianna is that she is in CHOP and I feel horrible not being able to see her everyday. I know other mother's see their children less then me but my heart can't take the distance! I can not wait for her to be back at Virtua with her sisters. I know the day will come! Yesterday was a little rough in her room. There are three other baby girls in the room and yesterday they were all being held by their mothers while I just got to stand by Cianna. That was hard and very emotional. I can't wait to hold my babies. I just want to comfort them and have them in my arms! Until then I'll hopelessly stand beside them waiting and longing.

Cianna - December 3rd, 2013

Look who's a blonde!

Cianna - December 5th, 2013

Taken the day of her PDA surgery.

Kangaroo Care

So here's how it works - they can't have any tubes going into their lungs from their sides (like Cianna and Hadassah have right now). And they have to be good with their stats and care. Right now the only one I'll be able to hold is Isabella but she doesn't do very well with a lot of stimulation or touching so for now I have to wait. But I'm crazy dying to be able to hold her!!!! I hope it's soon. The nurse yesterday was actually willing to let me try but Isabella was destating so I can't :(

Breast Feeding / Pumping

So I think it's going pretty well. I'm starting to get into a routine and I'm sticking to the pumping schedule as best as I can. I'm currently getting 2-3 ounces every 3 hours. But I want to get more! I'm currently 17 days postpartum and this doesn't seem enough. I am drinking a lot of water during and after pumping. I'm trying to eat a lot and I started the Fenugreek two days ago. I'm requesting a meeting with the Lactation consultant here at the hospital for Monday. I want to see if maybe I'm using the settings wrong on the machine. I'm not stressing over it as I know that can hinder my milk flow. I just truly feel lost, you know? It's funny how before the girls came I was dead against pumping and now it's all I want to do! LOL ... Oh and the Fenugreek - it makes my under arms smell like maple syrup. According to Tito, "Syrup smell is better then stinky smell." 

Weekly Milestone
The girls turned 2 weeks old on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013. They have survived the NICU for two full weeks!!! Go girls!!!! Girl power!!!

Weight Stats of the Girls & Myself ;)
Hadassah
Birth 1.6 pounds
Week 1 - 1.46 pound
Week 2 - 1.4 Pounds

Isabella
Birth - 1.34 pounds
Week 1 - 1.3 pounds
Week 2 - 1.6 Pounds

Cianna
Birth - 1.4 Pounds
Week 1 - 1.2 pounds
Week 2 - 1.21

Jackie (Me)
Pre-pregnancy weight - 146 pounds
Weight on Delivery Day - 180 pounds (wow)
Weight 2 weeks postpartum  - 155 pounds (Yeah!!!)

XOXO,
Jackie